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I read the chapter on air-sea interaction this afternoon. I still have to read Ocean Circulation for tomorrow. I'm so tired that studying is tedious. I plod through it even though the course is finally getting into some of the questions I've had for a long time about currents and weather patterns and ice. The next chapter covers El Niño. I've always wanted to know more about El Niño.
So why the plodding? Simple. I am still weak from the stupid flu and my sleeping patterns are all messed up.
About the time I got to the section on pack ice, I started to get discouraged. Will I ever be clearheaded and sharp again? Of course I will! It just doesn't feel like that at the moment. When I was working in a "real" (i.e.. soulless corporate) job I couldn't afford to be this sick this long. Today I was imagining how many voice mail messages would have accumulated and how angry coworkers and customers would be if I were out for a week and came back this weak. I was feeling really workaholic today. Like I'll never "catch up", never get it all done, just have to work harder... At least I recognize that pattern now.
I want to write more but I need to get to bed at a reasonable hour so I can get to the cat shelter on time in the morning. I don't know how much I'll be able to do tomorrow, but I figure it's better to go in and do what I can do rather than doing nothing. Maybe that's a workaholic reaction too though. My friend Rita was telling me "don't go to the shelter, don't take care of your nieces, take care of yourself." The thing is I don't know how to do that.
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