diaries
what i read
I took Tristine Rainer's The New Diary
with me this morning to read at Starbucks, along with a
Wall Street Journal clipping that Tom and Julie gave
me last week. I had a headache. It was and still is raining.
I am no closer to knowing what makes a good diary. I am no
longer sure I even read or write English.
what Rainer said
Rainer writes:
Reflection and description give voice to your
more objective, rational adult-self, while catharsis and
free-intuitive writing give voice to your more subjective,
emotional, intuitive self. The interrelationships in the
diary among the various faculties of perception lead to
self-knowledge and underlie all creativity. Together the
four natural modes of expression can convey the full range
of human experience. They permit release of emotion,
confirmation of your relationship with the physical world,
access to your inner consciousness, and contemplation of
experience from a detached perspective. These traditional
devices form a familiar base for the more experimental
techniques described in the next chapter.
what i thought about it
That's a fairly straightforward summary of
the chapter on Basic Diary Devices. I don't
understand it. Oh, I know what the words mean and the words
combine into sentences appropriately. My brain just is not
processing on that level. I mean I am more likely to confirm
my relationship with the physical world by getting sunburned
or picking at the cat scratches on my arm... I try to avoid
release of emotion at all costs...I have no inner
consciousness... and I feel like I need a helluva lot more
experiences in order to contemplate them. I feel totally
disconnected not only from the diary/journal process but
from myself and from the "real world". For that matter, I
feel even more detached from the virtual world.
irrelevant aside
Oh, the other word the spell checker didn't
recognize the other day was
"krill".
another irrelevant aside
The Texas Rangers lead the Red Sox 5 to 1 in
the 7th inning and my radio is getting staticky.
what the WSJ clipping was about
The Wall Street Journal clipping is
from 4/24/97: "Dear www.diary: It's Raining. I'm So
Sad." WSJ jumps on the bandwagon discussing the
"new phenomenon" of on-line journals. Featured journals are:
So I went home and browsed the journals mentioned, if I
could find them. The article didn't give the URLs. I
couldn't find the Tucson woman or Melissa. The well-known
writer they quoted from is Muriel Spark.
what i thought about that
Otaka's
journal contains the whole text of the WSJ article.
Otaka also makes reference to a recent The Connection
show that I only caught part of while driving to or
from the cat shelter or the beach the other day. Both the
WSJ article and The Connection seem to ignore the
fact that sharing journals is not entirely a new phenomenon.
In the 60's and 70's (gasp, shudder, hide your eyes
postfeminists) there were journal collectives where (gasp,
shudder) women shared their journals. There have also been
journal writing groups and workshops involving sharing for
some time. What's new is the medium, the size of the
audience, and the attention being paid to the phenomenon.
my point, and i do have one
On-line journals are having their 15 minutes
of fame. Wish I could enjoy it more. My problem is I have
become very self conscious about my writing. And when I get
self conscious, my writing deteriorates. My belief in my
writing abilities is extremely fragile. I had one too many
English teachers who did not appreciate either my style or
the things I chose to write about in my formative years. Tom
calls it the nun on my shoulder. So, nun, get off my
shoulder.
reading
Not only am I having trouble writing, I am
also having trouble reading. I can't concentrate long enough
to absorb a sentence. My book pile is growing ever higher.
I've read very few books this year to date:
- Wild America by Roger Tory Peterson and James
Fisher
- Tuva or Bust by Ralph Leighton
- Kate's House by Harriet Waugh
- Volcano Weather by Henry and Elizabeth Stommel
I used to read that much in a week!
I keep buying books and stacking them up waiting for me
to regain my abilities ...
today
Today I overslept, went to Starbucks, met the
nieces at the bus, "babysat" them, had supper at Kevin's,
came home.
today - slightly overwritten
It's raining. I'm watching a lone
black-capped chickadee at the feeder in Kevin's yard. Bertha
is rubbing against my legs and purring. She's been following
me around the house since I arrived inexplicably early
although I left late. I finally realize Bertha is hungry. I
break out the Tender Vittles. She purrs in ecstasy. I'm
waiting for the bus. It's still raining. I long for the sun.
The dark sky saps the color out of the trees despite their
tender new leaves........ i can't write like this......
irrelevant aside
Texas 5, Red Sox 1 the final.
relevant aside
There is no relevant aside.
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