HomeMay 16, 1997
a black hole is sucking at meand a huge column of antimatter looms overheadDon't you just hate people who constantly talk about how tired they are? I did but now that seems to be my main topic of conversation. All I want to do is sleep. how tired am i?I feel like a black hole has sucked all the energy out of me. All I wanted to do this morning was sleep late. I managed to get up at some point and drive to Starbucks where I had a grande caffe latte - which I usually get half decaf but not today nosirree... had to have the full caffeination... it was raining...it was raining ... i had my umbrella up ... i didn't get too wet ... when I walked into Starbucks the line at the counter was huge and some guy stared at me in disbelief asking "Is it raining ?" "How can it be raining?" Well, surprise, it was raining. It poured for about 2 hours - until I left Starbucks... how tired was that?... where I complained to Tom how tired I am and he suggested for the umpteenth time that I see a doctor and have this fatigue thing checked out. I ask why... it's either depression, tree pollen, the weather, or burnout or all of the above. Of those, I'm already being treated for depression, no previous treatments for tree pollen allergy have ever worked, the weather is the weather, and burnout isn't something a doctor can treat. Meanwhile, all I want to do is sleep. I just wanna sleep.
roll over Beethoventell Tchaikovsky the newsMet kids at bus at 3:40PM. Fed 'em snacks. Drove to pinano at Reed World. While Elizabeth had her lesson I read Andrea a story about a boy and his camel. The camel was named Hubba-Hubba, which means "trouble" according to the book. The boy's name was Musa. It was a pretty good story but we didn't finish it by the time the lesson was over. Guess we'll finish it next week. Drove kids home from pinano. They packed their stuff for sleep over at the Kelly's. Drove kids to the Kelly's. Connell did a dance for us, his own choreography to "Bad Boys". He had some good moves. Elizabeth played one of her piano pieces for the Kelly's. Gracie played a "famous piano piece" by Beethoven. After this astounding display of talent, I drove on home to be tired once more.
what this is really aboutyour guess is as good as mineA black hole is sucking at me and a huge column of antimatter looms overhead.The black hole image isn't original with me. Somebody in my meeting on Thursday used it to describe an overwhelming fatigue and I related immediately and intensely. The column of antimatter is something I've been trying to visualize since I heard about it on the news. I'm still trying... what exactly does a plume of antimatter sticking out in the universe look like? How would I know it's antimatter? What does antimatter mean to me as an ordinary blocked writer and plover warden going about my day to day tasks? 8 to 2 Minnesota in the 5thSox lose 11 to 5They suck. What else can I say? Aaron Sele has gotten shelled in his last 2 outings. I've never heard of half their pitchers...what else is new? | |
AntarcticaI got two brochures about Antarctica trips in the mail: one from Mass. Audubon and one from Marine Expeditions. Then in a totally serendipitous bit of synchronicity, I was searching the web on the name Peter Matthiessen in an attempt to find the source of a Basho poem he quotes as an epigraph in The Windbirds. I can't find the poem in any of my books by or about Basho and just wondered where he got it. Getting nowhere with the first line of the poem and Basho, I searched on Peter Matthiessen, knowing I'd get more than I bargained for but maybe find a hint. Well, one of the zillion hits was Victor Emmanuel Nature Tours. It seems Matthiessen is a tour leader on one of their upcoming Antarctica cruises. So I e-mailed them asking for info. So far, all the trips I've seen advertised go only to the Antarctic peninsula. None to the Ross Ice Shelf, etc. Now ever since I read Antarctic Navigation, I've longed to see Mount Erebus. Do I want to see it enough to spend my entire nest egg and force myself to go back to a soulless corporate job? Probably not. I think I would just be happy to see any tiny part of Antarctica. Just to see penguins not in the aquarium... | |
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