Journal of a Sabbatical

March 7, 2000

evanescent and intangible

Bird's Mentioned in Thoreau's Journal Entries for Today:

eastern bluebird
lesser redpoll
song sparrow
American robin
northern shrike
white-bellied nuthatch

Today's Reading: Early Spring in Massachusetts: from the Journals of Henry David Thoreau edited by H. G. O. Blake, Faith in a Seed by Henry David Thoreau, Thoreau on Birds

The air smells like spring. Thoreau describes a meadowy spring odor that is a little exciting "like the fragrance of tea to an old tea drinker". It makes me anxious. Every once in awhile a breeze blows that spring fragrance in through the open window. My chest tightens and the bottom falls out of my stomach. I want to bolt, but where to? I should be doing something urgent, but what? Even the nerves in the tips of my fingers buzz a little bit. Apparently, I'm either supposed to migrate or mate.

Find all the tax documents. Pay the bills. Do the laundry. Clean the desk. Balance the checkbook. Go out. Come in. Drink coffee. Eat lunch. Coffee shop. Post office. Grocery store. Come in. Go out. None of it satisfies the urge to migrate or mate.

Jerry, the Russian-speaking dog, brings me a tree limb as I am getting out of my car. He wants me to play fetch with a tree limb?

A tiny yellow crocus blooms in front of my therapist's office. One of those mini-crocuses you'd miss if it weren't bright yellow. Yellow? When was the last time there was the tiniest hint of natural yellow in the landscape? October? Last March?

I tell Ned about the four rough-legged hawks I saw the other day. He agrees it's something special.

A rotten cherry tomato splats on the kitchen floor. The ziti sticks to the pot. Time to migrate or mate.