Journal of a Sabbatical

May 6, 2000

shellfish commissioner

Today's Reading: Uttermost Part of the Earth by E. Lucas Bridges

Today's Starting Pitcher:
Pedro Martinez

Pedro's strikeouts: 17

May is Town Meeting season. Every town I drive through on Rt. 133 is lined with signs so-and-so for town clerk, so-and-so-else for selectman, so-and-so for tree warden. We have such quaint town officers in New England. I wonder if we still have fence-viewers. And although when Lord Timothy Dexter held the office in Federalist period Newburyport it was pretty much a joke, we sure could use an Informer of the Deer nowadays. Back then the white tailed deer had been all but eliminated in eastern Massachusetts. Not so now. White tailed deer are having such a population explosion they're threatening to overwhelm the landscape not to mention them and and their little mouse familiars hosting a population explosion of the dreaded Ixodes damini. Maybe towns should create a new office for "informer of the deer ticks".

The best sign is a one off, hand stenciled on a weathered wooden cart, "so-and-so for shellfish commissioner". There doesn't seem to be anybody else running judging from the signs, and this guy only has the one sign. I think I was in Rowley when I saw this.

When I said I wanted to get a job in marine science, my oceanography professor suggested I apply for a job as shellfish warden. I don't think she meant any negative reflection on my academic abilities in oceanography, but she was definitely clued in to my desire to remain underemployed.

Most towns that have clam flats, oyster beds, or what have you have a shellfish warden who issues permits, checks limits on shellfishing, and guards against theft, pilferage, what have you. I'm assuming "shellfish commissioner" is a fancy title for shellfish warden. Unless the town of Rowley has so many shellfish wardens that they form a commission for which they need a commissioner.

Anyway, my oceanography professor suggested that would give me a chance to be outdoors all the time and not have to do much work. This sounded great until I read an article in the New Bedford paper about the harbormaster and the shellfish warden wanting to be allowed to carry guns. New Bedford is a rough place and I can see the harbormaster maybe possibly needing a gun to fend off drug dealers and pirates, but the shellfish warden? Now that's scary! Taking quahogs without a permit? Blam! You're dead.

I didn't think shellfish warden was an elective office. I thought you had to be descended from a long line of shellfish wardens, and be in good with the selectmen. Of course, North Andover has no need for a shellfish warden in the first place, not having any clam flats. All the more reason to move to Providence. I wonder if they have any job openings for shellfish wardens?

I'll bet I could create a job description for "informer of deer ticks" though. This is supposedly going to be a banner year for Lyme disease. I wonder if it's too late to get it onto the town meeting warrant.